How does the portrayal of LGBTQIA couples in the Humans of Bombay blogs serve the purpose of gender equality in society?

The Humans of Bombay is a photo blog website, founded in 2014 by Karishma Mehta. The website was inspired by The Humans of New York. Like the majority of the audience, even I came across their content while scrolling through Instagram and I was instantly attracted to the blogs due to the uniqueness of their images. The blog that I remember most vividly was about gay marriage which seemed elegant and royal. I don't remember it solely because it was about a gay couple, but because it was about marriage. Out of all the magazines, blogs and newspapers that I had come across, this particular blog seemed different, because of its pureness. In India, same-sex marriages are not recognised. An LGBTQIA couple may be married in the eyes of society but not according to the legislation. This issue has been brought up through different mediums, and though different ideologies keep emerging, the least and the most basic ones, such as the existence of same-sex relationships, are not accepted. Thus, this essay explores the various visual and literary elements that convey salient gender and sexuality awareness.

Both the blogs, \(Blog A\) and \(Blog B\), have striking titles that undermine societal norms. In \(Blog A\), the title is in the form of narration and the use of the word 'love' creates a hefty impact as it manages to entirely justify the marriage, and bring a sense of normality as marriages are supposed to be based on love and not gender. Blog B's title is an allusion to society as the narrator talks about acceptance, something which the world lacks regarding them. Whether the lack of acceptance points towards the societal fear of the LGBTQIA community or the people themselves accepting their own sexuality is what the blogger intends to question. The blogs are established with stories of how the couples met, which acts as a building block for the relationship between the reader and the blog. This context of the start of their relationships adds a personal touch to the text which makes it easier to accord. The Humans of Bombay has used such events and anecdotes to portray the simplicity and ordinariness of the couples' relationship to undermine the social concept of them being abnormal and disparate. The diction used in the blogs is casual, millennial and free of jargon and captures the attention of the reader and affects them in a way that they relive the stories. The use of straightforward language grabs and pleases a larger audience and approaches all social classes. In \(Blog A\), the blog mentions how the couple was nervous about meeting the parents where it further mentions that the nervousness was induced because of their different religions and cultural differences but not because of their homosexual relationship. It has a questioning effect on the reader as society would anticipate the presence of nervousness due to their homosexual relationship. The narrator emphasizes their wedding choices and how their culturally rich families embraced their union with a grand wedding, which provides the readers with an insight into modesty, and forward-mindedness yet a cultured way of living that can be relished in society. This brings forth a rare situation that undermines all the barriers rooted in society. The text, therefore, brings out the Indian culture and also alters it by putting forth an unconventional view.

Both the individuals in the picture are wearing contrasting colours, which might indicate their personality differences in an attempt to clearly display no gender differences. Their pose, with one's hand on the other's shoulder references tradition and is a very habitual pose in Indian and Pakistani weddings. Except here, a woman, instead of showing her affection and comfort in a husband, reflects it in another woman and her wife. The two individuals are trying to alter conceptions by challenging societal norms but also indulging in cultural ways. The wives are looking straight into the camera which portrays how confident they are about themselves and with each other. The image is a portrait that focuses on the couple. The person on the left is wearing a light-coloured traditional outfit which presents her as more feminine in the image than her wife on the other hand who has chosen a dark black colour outfit, although in real life they are equal to one another. The black colour of the attire is also associated with boldness and power which is stereotypically uncommon for women. When people usually think about heterosexual humans, they associate them with acting like the opposite sex or completely preferring what the opposite sex prefers. Except, it is just a generalization which the blogger has challenged by presenting one wife wearing an attire that is usually associated with femininity and the other wearing an attire usually worn by the groom. This also attempts to portray the demolition of gender roles by the two individuals. The blog sets lifestyle trends for lesbian couples, such as a royal wedding, a non-traditionalist white lehenga and also wearing black attire for a wedding.

In \(Blog B\), the blogger has tried to convey the vulnerability of the two individuals in the pictures as they are laying down on the ground. it might be symbolic of their relationship, which is soft, comforting and simplistic. By repetitively using the word 'ordinary' in the text the blogger has tried to deviate people from thinking that the relationship the couple shares is unconventional, rather it's just one of many forms of love. Although not entirely similar to Blog A's picture, the individuals in \(Blog B\) are wearing contrasting colours. while one of them is wearing black attire and the other is wearing lighter colours like mauve and white. The contrasting colours in both pictures allude to the concept of opposites attracting. Even though it might be their personalities that are opposite of each other, it is not their gender. This can also be derived from their poses as they both are lying in opposite directions still looking into each other's eyes. Both men have wide smiles as they share the frame which shows how they reciprocate feelings for each other. As it is previously mentioned in the essay that black signifies power, the individual wearing the black attire is portraying mellowness as he is slightly touching his partner, showing his affection. The blogger's decision to mention the place where the couple confessed their love could be deliberate. As the marine drive is synonymous with romance in Mumbai, it personalizes the blog and makes it emotionally relatable to the Mumbai crowds.

Both texts have the core purpose of normalizing homosexuality which they manage to do it subtly. In \(Blog A\), the blogger has not tried to present their genders and homosexuality as an issue or the main plot of their story; the texts rather bridge the distance between them and the traditionalist world. In \(Blog B\), the blogger yet again focuses more on the ordinariness of their relationship to make us see a version of ourselves or people around us in them by mentioning the long-distance relationship, crying over tacky scenes or the usual Facebook texting. The couples are symbolic of sexual autonomy in a society where ridicule comes easily along with repression. Ismat Chugtai's Lihaf (1942) too tackles this in a similar way where Begum Jan who married a homosexual man, indulges with her maidservant Rabbu to depict the power of coming out of confinement and repression. The portrayal of people's identity and how people belonging to the same gender can have completely different tastes and styles aligns with Judith Butler's take on the queer theory in her book Gender Trouble (1990). She argues about gender fluidity and how dressing up or having aspects of identity that are unconventional challenge the laid out gender norms by society.

Humans of Bombay have tried to conserve the normality of the couples and express their stories in a particular way. The use of language and diction like 'play it cool' or 'gay-dar' provides the reader a peek into the couples' millennial relationships, resulting in sprinkling ordinariness. The blogs have established the base structure of raising awareness about sexuality, which is more profound due to the mention of emotional and cultural instances in people's lives. The stories resonate with a queer audience as well as everyone living in Mumbai or even India. Though there is no doubt that the writing conveys the message aptly, the people and the imagery refine it and personify it well. To conclude, Humans of Bombay's eloquent language and imagery establish unconventional love, relationships and identities and put them forward to society as a whole.

BLOG A:

"Back in 2014, my friends invited me to a spoken word event called 'Coming Out Muslim'- that's where I met Bianca. We immediately clicked and spent the whole evening talking; there was an instant connection. She was a DJ and invited me to her friend's show the next night. From there we started hanging out regularly. We'd share our playlists and surprise each other with concert tickets. That became 'our thing!'

But despite everything, we hadn't made our relationship 'official'; we were both trying to 'play it cool' but failing miserably. But everything changed when we took a trip to Bali- we realised we were in love.

Effortlessly, we become a part of each other's lives. We were nervous about 'meeting the parents'- she's Christian and I'm Muslim. Her father is Indian while my family's from Pakistan. But when our families saw us in love... none of the cultural differences mattered.

I knew I wanted to marry her, so I started looking at rings. We were in Colombia when Bianca insisted we go for a walk on the beach. I was reluctant because I'd met with an accident a week back, but when Bianca said, 'It will be the best walk of your life,' I agreed. While walking on the beach, she halted, held my hand, slipped a ring on my finger and asked, 'Are you down for this?' She caught me off guard. But she was right, it was the best walk of my life. No one went down on a knee, there were no photographers; it was simple; it was us.

The madness began when we told our families. We wanted an intimate wedding, just a one day affair. How silly of us to think we would get away with that?! From a dholki night to a mayoun haldi to a mehendi- we had it all! It was a unison of two culturally rich countries after all!

I even had my own Baraat led by my dog Sahara, while Bianca entered in a Doli. When I saw her like that, I teared up. All my life, I never imagined finding the one, let alone watching my beautiful bride entering in a Doli. But it was happening, it was real. That day we were pronounced wife and wife!

It's been more than a year since. A year of many firsts- we signed Christmas postcards and celebrated Eid as a married couple. We also celebrated our first wedding anniversary in quarantine. She built a blanket fort and prepared dinner, it was so thoughtful; she makes the mundane extraordinary.

When I'd realised I was gay I knew my life would be different, but our different is beautiful; it's filled with love. And that's the thing about love- it sees no gender, no religion, no nationality. It just...happens."

BLOG B:

"I used to work as a radio jockey in Indore. Seven years ago, I was in Mumbai for work, that's when I first met Yogi. The moment I saw him, my 'gaydar' went ting-ting! That evening, I hit him up on Facebook and tried to make small talk- I wanted to woo him! And he was so friendly. We began texting \(24/7\) and a week later, he trusted me enough to tell me, 'I hope you know I'm gay.' That one sentence put me at ease!

Chats turned into calls; I couldn't get enough of him! And then he asked, 'Are you looking for friendship or love?' He wasn't looking for a fling. I'd only recently come to terms with my own sexuality, so I was scared to open up. But something made me confess to him that I liked him, and he felt the same way.

10 days later, I flew down to Mumbai and surprised him at his doorstep at 6:45 AM- he was so happy! He shared a flat with two other guys; before they could suspect anything, we got out of there. We walked hand in hand on Marine Drive; it was the happiest I'd been in years! So I just blurted out, 'I think I love you!' He replied, 'You stole my words!' and that's how we started dating.

We started off long distance; I was in Indore, and then Delhi and I'd visit him in Mumbai. My home was wherever he was. Our dates have spanned from roadside restaurants to rooftop bars! I'm a huge crier; on our first movie date, I was sobbing so much that Yogi didn't know what to say, so he just hugged me! No matter where we are, I love how I could just be myself with him.

I didn't want to hide our relationship, so I introduced him to my mom as my boyfriend soon after. We weren't expecting the family acceptance to happen overnight. Yogi's family is quite conservative too, but they warmed up to us eventually.

And then last year Yogi told me, 'I want to tell our children how I met your father.' He wanted to immortalize our love story with a podcast. Till then, we'd never come out as RJs. So we moved on from our radio stations and began working on the podcast together. And 5 months ago when the first episode went up, the response was overwhelming! People wrote to us about how they felt inspired by us, and I thought, 'We're just two ordinary boys in love who wanted to share their love story with the world!'

Today, after doing long distance for years, we're finally settled together in Delhi. And this 15th August, is our 7-year anniversary! But honestly, our relationship is as ordinary as it gets; when he jokingly checks out a stranger when I'm around, I roll my eyes at him, and when I cry over a tacky movie scene, he just shakes his head. That's how it is with us- we've accepted each other, quirks and all. And there's a kind of comfort in a love like that."

Hobadmin. (2021, November 12). We've accepted each other, quirks and all: Blog. Humans of Bombay. Retrieved August 13, 2022, from https://www.humansofbombay.in/blog/weve-accepted-each-other-quirks-and-all/

Hobadmin. (2021, November 12). Love sees no gender, religion or nationality: Blog. Humans of Bombay. Retrieved August 13, 2022, from https://www.humansofbombay.in/blog/love-sees-no-gender-religion-or-nationality/